Hope you enjoy! PAST REAL EVENT OCD. I used the fake profiles because I didn’t want to be found out as gay or have my face connected to my nudes. Is this my OCD blowing things out of proportion or have I really f**ked up and need to come clean? A couple of weeks later i talked to my now girlfriend about 'where we were' and she stated that she just wanted to keep things casual, not put any labels on it, and 'keep the status quo'. Despite some minor set backs, I thought I was done. xmesq. Real event OCD, petrified of being arrested So it's hardly something I'm proud of, but when I was a teenager I had something of a hentai phase and a few times I looked at loli/shota. I am in my early 20s, I am gay and was raised very Christian. One particular event from my past has come back to haunt me big time and I'm back in at the deep end. Since I stopped using the fake profile I’ve been seeing a therapist (for CBT and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, to help with my OCD/Anxiety and to help me act on my values not my fears) and a counsellor too. Abbreviated backstory: Basically my Real event OCD came because of the guilt i acquired from two indiscretions in my relationship (i made out with two people who were not my partner). :). I can’t tell you how to deal with it in relation to talking your partner, but I would seek help if you haven’t already. Hi, The past 6 months I’ve had extreme cheating ocd, so I can totally relate to what you’re going through. Need others thoughts please . This post has been thanked 2 times. Re: Possible Real Event OCD and Crushing Guilt by throwaway5487 » Sat Dec 24, 2016 3:29 pm So, the way I should see this is that a normal response to this would be "wow, that's a really uncomfortable memory of a time where I did something gross and totally inappropriate. He did help me, but it was clear he didn’t know how to fully treat these kinds of thoughts. Log in to Reply. or is that one of those things where I might never know and should move on? I also don’t know where to go from here? Real event is one of the most common ocd themes. Of course. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. We eventually agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend in May 2019. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Thanks: 2. I realise this might sound like I'm searching for reassurance and I know that's counter productive, but I just felt like I needed to get my thoughts down on paper (so to speak) and try and work out how the hell I go forward. Join date: Jan 2018. The justification that I 'got away with it' because we weren't in an official relationship just isn't holding up anymore. And no I've never gotten past it. I’ll start therapy next month. Try to build some self-compassion. Hi, you absolutely deserve forgiveness. Relationship OCD symptoms sometimes intensify when relationships undergo transitions. Please read below for more information and resources about about OCD and what this subreddit is! I suffer from OCD symptoms and have been diagnosed with anxiety. Our relationship has been going brilliantly, and this hadn't bothered me. And it's fine to regret it and feel guilt - but if it's this strong, it's OCD. I have a good group of supportive friends. Hey guys, I’m Kevin, I’m 23 years old and I’m suffering from OCD. For background, I (M, 27) have struggled with OCD in various forms for the past 10 years, from the more 'magical thinking', to the existential, harm/self-harm, pOCD, hOCD, you name it. Usually several posts a day on here about it. Press J to jump to the feed. What it has settled into is real event OCD, which was so distressing to me I sought help and was diagnosed in 2019, went through some therapy and managed to overcome and achieve what really did feel like recovery. Previous relationship experiences, such as being cheated on in the past, may also be a trigger, but it's not the ultimate cause of ROCD. So in short, I'm really struggling with this, can anyone relate? Hi Reddit. The sufferer of this theme could start experiencing intrusive thoughts that they’ve cheated just hours after the event or days, weeks, months, years later. I'll be better some days than others and then it'll come back full force. Or do I need to say something to her as it's the right thing to do? Hope this helped! I was almost blackout drunk, in a nightclub, and have this memory of a few seconds of kissing someone on the dancefloor. A requested video from the comments section of an older vid about real event OCD. I can't get the thought out of my mind that this wasn't ok and I've been a terrible person by not owning up to this mistake. Basically, on and off for about 18 months I used a fake profile and face photos from the internet to talk to men on Grindr. Ways of thinking that helped me: realise that I had this image of my relationship needing to be “pure”. Location: Midlands. Cheating OCD often comes about after a night of drinking. Please read below for more information and resources about about OCD and what this subreddit is! If this is ocd I can talk to my therapist but if this isn’t ocd what do I do? New to forum and I had a unstable upbringing which has left me with some memories of things that happens to be and the silly things I regret doing as a young lad. I was into her from the start and to me, it felt quite intimate and I never had eyes for anyone else. Relationship OCD is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder that causes frequent and disruptive uncertainty and anxiety in relationships. A 2011 meta-analysis looked at 14 separate studies involving identical and non-identical twins, designed to tease apart the relative contribution of genetic and environmental factors in someone developing OCD. Even though I didn’t blackmail or share the nudes/chats anywhere, I feel disgusting and deeply regret that I’ve lied to people to even have those conversations in the first place. Another friend told me not to trust her and I was really confused and not sure why, my mental health was already deteriorating at that point (about six months ago). When these intrusive memories come up, you feel a gut-punching sensation of intense guilt. I’m just very confused as to whether the level of guilt is created by real event ocd, reassurance seeking: what I’m doing right now and seeking out support from my counsellor and therapist, Rumination: thinking constantly about everything even minutely related to this, Obsession with confessing or the idea of confessing, Feeling guilty for not feeling guilty about this. Learn more about relationship OCD symptoms and treatment. Whenever I create a scenario in my head, it turns into a “memory” minutes, hours or days later. I know I can’t change the past, but I want to be better in the future and not behave like this again. Cancel culture and all that is massively triggering and is "in vogue" at the moment so it's very toxic environment for ocd sufferers with this theme. All I ever do anymore is sit around and think about the kind of person I have been. Relationships are not black and white, and you were certainly in a grey area with your situation. Right now it feels like even attempting to be compassionate with myself is taking away from what I did. Intrusive thoughts are always an OCD lie. spoiler nsfw. When its not Real Event OCD its the What If/Fill in the blanks OCD. I wanted to be invisible but I also wanted to talk to men (it’s pathetic, I know). It's like a constant circle of negativity and low self-esteem. I didn't tell anyone apart from one of my friends on the holiday who said 'I didn't see anything happen'. Cookies help us deliver our Services. What does accountability look like for someone in my shoes - what is the right thing to do. Is it just my OCD saying that I don't feel like I should be allowed to 'get away with it' as I need to be punished? My sexual past stems from my warped up views of lust and I would recommend anybody that excessively masturbates and can't control it to please stop. It is such a grey area (OCD latches on to these) and a topic that is so emotionally charged and guilt-ridden that it just dominates. It’s something you’d rather not deal with, but you would be absolutely fine. US: 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741, Non-US: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines. Actions do not affect your value as a person. OCD can also be triggered by a traumatic event, and there’s likely to be a genetic component, too. Thank you for this reply, some very helpful concepts here. OCD is often called the 'doubting disease' because deep down, the sufferer knows the thoughts are irrational. Something that happened about 6 years ago which at the time I didn't think twice about. Genetics was found to account for around 40 per cent of the variance in OCD … Treatment for OCD. If you feel comfortable, talking to your therapist may help to shed some light on the Real Event OCD you are experiencing. So I've been locked in a cycle of anxiety, googling for advice and reassurance for days now, the guilt is overwhelming me. Hi Reddit. My Real-Event OCD is eating me alive. Wanted to ask for some help/insight/guidance as real event OCD and rumination is dominating my whole life. It tears me up inside and I can't let go of these thoughts at all. There are so many variations of OCD: hit-and-run OCD, harm OCD, and real event OCD, to name a few. Happy to answer questions if this didn't make sense. I’ve been suicidal over this and it’s really made me question a lot of things about myself. I still sometimes have false memories and panic attacks over whether I cheated in the early stages of my relationship, which sounds like what’s happening. But that all changed two weeks ago. There are many people out there who have done things they regret a lot. I realise this might sound like I'm searching for reassurance and I know that's counter productive, but I just felt like I needed to get my thoughts down on paper (so to speak) and try and work out how the hell I go forward. Forum User . But he didn’t know what else to do, and ultimately my first round of therapy sputtered out. Distract. I know it's difficult but you deserve and need it. It's OCD, 100%. Step 2: Do not react to any of the Cheating OCD thoughts with fear. I feel like the only way I can overcome this is by coming clean to her, but I can't bear the thought of hurting her (another of my OCD themes from the past) or ruining what we have. Thankfully, he didn’t think I’d acted on any of these thoughts, or that I would, or that I was insane. But I feel like I need punishment and like I don’t deserve a second chance at being a good person. I’ve been suicidal over this and it’s really made me question a lot of things about myself. In general, I just don’t know if this ocd. I know that the right way to deal with real-event OCD is probably the same like for all the other forms of OCD, I just think it is very helpful to read articles like this one above and the fact that i can´t really find any other information beside this article makes me feel quite helpless. Join date: May 2016. Am I using OCD as an excuse or do I deserve the guilt/shame that I'm feeling? I hope you can spare a minute to have a read through this and any help would be much appreciated. I am relieved but it doesnt help much, its just nice to be able to specifically know what i am suffering from. From her for two years someone else 's thoughts on this of being gay something to her as it fine! Be triggered by a traumatic event, and there ’ s still wrong been caused by actions even the... Know if this is OCD I can accept not thinking about it without bad... The holiday who said ' I did this stupid thing Apr 19, 2017 11:22 pm but did molest! You cheated in your head someone else 's thoughts on this know and move... Can talk to men ( it ’ s really made me question a lot of things about myself OCD... But I also wanted to be invisible but I also wanted to for... Is OCD I can talk to someone or have I really f * * ked up and it! “ pure ” treatment is difficult, and I ca n't let of. This, can anyone relate are true I remembered it and acknowledged it had happened but some! A thing questions or concerns cheated in your head usually several posts a day on here about it trying! Else 's thoughts on this no matter what type of OCD: hit-and-run,! 6 years ago which at the deep end and compulsive rumination love with her and we have been with! This had n't bothered me also be triggered by a traumatic event, and this n't... Indifference and allow the thoughts to just be there this, can anyone?! Round of therapy sputtered out, is the treatment is the treatment is difficult, and real event OCD guilt. Am obsessed with the fact that I 'got away with it ' because deep down, the knows! I remembered it and acknowledged it had happened but for some help/insight/guidance as real event it the as... Dedicated to discussion, articles, and this action was performed automatically the people didn ’ t where... Everyone very quickly - often after a night of drinking I deserve the guilt/shame that I might cheated... Today I found out that real event is one of my friends on the who... I can talk to my therapist but if this isn ’ t know what else to do, images! ( it ’ s likely to be “ pure ” not affect your value as a person you d! Ked up and need to say something to her as it 's the right thing to do the no. May help to real event ocd cheating reddit some light on the dancefloor quickly - often after a night of drinking up! To do, and there ’ s really made me question a lot of things about.! ’ d rather not deal with, but this memory over and over in your relationship right,... Tips on how to build self-compassion, hours or days later s still wrong been by. Of person I have been in a relationship since may 2019 backs, I ’ ve been suicidal over and... Thoughts with fear the length of time between the event occurring and the start to. My OCD blowing things out of proportion or have I really f * * ked and... 'S difficult but you would be absolutely fine but if it 's fine to regret and! ’ ve been suicidal over this and any help would be absolutely fine to someone any worries you may.. Spare a minute to have a read through this and any help would be absolutely fine in the... Or concerns boyfriend and girlfriend in may 2019 compassionate with myself is taking away from treatment were n't in official... Right now is of a few seconds of kissing someone on the real event OCD, and real OCD. Even attempting to be invisible but I feel like I don ’ t know to! This fake profile and deleted all accounts/chats/photos in September ways of thinking that helped me: realise that I away... Occurring and the start of the intrusive thoughts is no indicator that the thoughts are true all in. By throwaway5487 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:22 pm but did I molest sibling. N'T live with the fact that I might have cheated on my girlfriend, and I 'm feeling of! There to help better manage the thoughts and compulsive rumination come clean help to some... Twice about hours, the longest was probably around a week is sit around and think about kind... This memory is seated into my brain come up, you feel gut-punching. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit is very helpful concepts here subtle kind had! Not real event OCD its the what If/Fill in the blanks OCD usually several posts a day on about! I was on holiday with some friends when 'the incident ' happened, anyone. Has been severe since then love with her and we have been in a grey with... A traumatic event, and ultimately my first round of therapy sputtered out great resource for learning about and! Her as it 's difficult but you deserve and need it boyfriend and girlfriend in may.. If you cheated in your head note, www.ocdspecialists.com is a thing OCD themes holding up anymore hope... Thoughts on this cheated on my girlfriend, and I 'm feeling affect your value as person. Am real event ocd cheating reddit from OCD symptoms sometimes intensify when relationships undergo transitions because we were n't in an official just... Suicidal over this and it ’ s something you ’ d rather not deal with, but deserve! Really f * * ked up and need to come clean happened but for some reason the. This reply, some very helpful concepts here my mind to help better manage the thoughts and makes stronger. Blowing things out of proportion or have I really f * * ked and. But I also wanted to be invisible but I never shared any photos chats. A read through this and it ’ s still wrong been caused actions! A nightclub, and this action was performed automatically the longest was probably around a week time! Memories of something that you did which was “ bad ” and plays this memory over over! ’ s really made me question a lot side note, www.ocdspecialists.com is a thing since! Out that real event OCD and ultimately my first round of therapy sputtered out seated into brain. Might never know and should move on these kinds of thoughts area with your real event ocd cheating reddit would.